OUCH! "It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest
Discussion
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Discussion
@cstross I see we've found the one person who bought a ticket
@cstross Whew, thanks for the heads up.
LOL. I wasn't going to see it.
@cstross
this is the opposite of the hooker with a heart of gold trope, i''m guessing
@cstross "White and gold – that’s so you,” purrs one of her lickspittles... Lickspittles!
@cstross "Triumph of the Shill"
@cstross
“designer taxidermy” seems appropriate… 😐
@cstross Nice comparison here to The Zone of Interest.
@cstross
reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_search
Get in. We're messing up Melania's Amazon search results
This weekend, Amazon is premiering its $40 million Melania Trump documentary. It already seems to be a flop.
But we're going to take it one step further by messing up Melania's Amazon search results. Specifically, we're going to amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it ranks higher than her movie. {MORE}
@503bartley @cstross Clickable link to Reddit: https://old.reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_search/
And direct link to the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HN9XC1H
@cstross
However, if we assume the purpose was to give Ms Trump $30M (a contribution to her Running Away Fund?) then it presumably counts as a success.
@cstross
The review attributed to Variety seemed helpful:
If it was shown on an aircraft people would still walk out.
The review in @GetCarter 's thread is one of those recycled quotes that actually comes from elsewhere according to Snopes; but lower in the thread people have suggested that the ticket sales for these places can be accounted for *entirely* by the news/magazine movie reviewers who did not have advance screenings.
https://mastodonapp.uk/@GetCarter/115982369126621417
#Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #VueCinema #Islington #Amazon
They're not far off, either.
I just turned up this. Apparently, 4 people joined The Metro's reviewer on opening night, plus an additional 1 who was apparently another movie reviewer.
So a third of the audience was people who were being paid to watch the movie. (-:
https://metro.co.uk/2026/01/30/sat-a-near-empty-cinema-melania-thought-26612808/
Amusing coincidence: Kimberly Bond also writes features for Cosmo.
@GetCarter
#Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #Amazon #TheMetro
@JdeBP @cstross @GetCarter making someone watch that for their job should be an OSHA violation.
I too was concerned for their wellbeing afterwards.
And they don't have the option of doing what that lady who left after 20 minutes did.
https://mastodon.scot/@JdeBP/115983497912180622
The Daily Record reported a total of 16 tickets sold in Edinburgh and Glasgow as of this morning. ABC reported 50 pre-booked tickets across the whole of Australia for opening day.
https://dailyrecord.co.uk/news/politics/melania-trump-documentary-sells-just-36641836
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